More Then That

I stared at the newspaper in my hands and tears clouded my eyes. I had to make this right, even if it meant I had to beg and plead and crawl around on my hands and knees for the rest of my life, begging her. I looked at my room mate and he half smiled.

“You can do it Jay, I know you can” He said. I nodded and put the paper donw, going out of our room. I walked down the corridor to the staff station and leaned on the desk.

“what can I do for you Alex?” Asked Andrea, the nice older lady who worked at the desk

“Can I please use the phone?” I asked, with the sweetest smile I could muster up, under the conditions.

“Alex you know you’re only allowed 2 phone calls a week and you’ve already made you 2” She said

“But this is important. I need to get my wife back, without her I’ll be straight back in here the month after I get out” I said. She sighed and nodded me through. I smiled at her and went to the phone. I dialled Nick’s number.

“Hello?” She said groggily

“Rhia, don’t hang up” I said

“Alex? What do you want?” She asked with a yawn

“I saw the paper from yesterday” I said, tears clouding my eyes again.

“I would presume that most of Florida saw it” She replied

“Baby who is it?” Came Nicks voice in the background

“It’s just Alex, Nicky, go back to sleep” She said and I heard her moving around.

“I love you Rhianna” I said. She was silent.

“God, please don’t do this to me” I begged quietly

“Do this to you? Fuck you Alex, you left ME, remember that? After the car accident, do you remember Alexander?” She asked. She sounded so hurt and guilt washed over me. A tear slipped down my cheek.

“I remember” I whispered

“Are you getting better?” She asked softly

“Yes. The cravings have gone” I said

“When do you get out?” She asked

“Next month” I answered

“I’m not sure I can be with you any more Alex” She said

“Because I’m an alcoholic? Because I’m so famous I can’t control myself?” I asked, getting angry and upset and scared all at the same time

“No because I don’t know if I can trust you” She said

“I swear to god that I will never ever be with another woman in my life, never. Except you” I said

“That’s what you said when we were married” She said back

“We’ll renew our wedding vows, before D and Jenn’s wedding, jesus Rhianna I’ll divorece you and we can get married again, properly. I’ll do anything for you” I said and realised I’d absently quoted an old song of the BSB.

“Just get better Alex” She said softly and I heard the dial tone. I put down the phone, turned around and walked back to my room. I threw myself down on the bed and started crying.

1 Month Later

I waited patiently out the front, checking my watch every few seconds. They were late and they were never late. I heard a noise behind me and turned around to see Andrea running down the steps towards me. When she reached me she was puffing slightly.

“Alex, Kevin is on the phone” She said. She looked worried. I left my bag where it was and bolted up the steps, slamming open the door and jumping the desk, grasping the phone.

“Kev?” I said

“AJ, oh god I am so sorry we’re late, there’s been an accident” He said

“Rhianna?” I asked

“Yes” He said softly

“What happened? Is she ok? Is she alive?” I asked

“She got hit by a car in Orlando about 2 hours ago. I meant to call sooner but the doctor was talking to us about some things. Nick, is on his way to get you right now though” He said

“Is she ok?” I asked, an iciness working it’s way through my blood

“Just get here first and than we’ll talk” He said. I looked up when the door opened and I saw Nick. He was puffing.

“I’ll be there soon” I said and slammed down the phone. I stared at him for a minute and he looked uncomfortable. That’s what you get for fucking my wife I thought bitterly and shook the thoughts from my head, pushing past him and running down to Kev’s car which Nick had obviously brought. I’d grabbed my bags on the way past and was waiting impatiently at the door. Nick clicked the button on the key’s and the doors unlocked. I threw my bag in jumped in the passenger side. Nick climbed in and started the car.

“How is she?” I asked, my voice cracking.

“Not good” He answered

“Were you with her?” I asked

“No. I was at my place” He said

“Why weren’t you with her?” I asked

“We haven’t seen each other since you called her last month” He said taking a corner at a speed that was a lot faster than what he should’ve taken it.

“I don’t blame you” I said

“For what?” He asked

“Getting with her” I said

“AJ, this can wait” He said

“No I want to tell you now” I said. He sighed and nodded, slowing down for the next corner, but still going around it fairly fast.

“I fucked up royally and I know that now, I love her more than anything in this entire world and I will do anything to make her happy. If she chooses to be with you than I’ll let her” I said

“I was nothing to her AJ, just a root and a shoulder to cry on. She wants to be with you, not me. She was getting groceries for your house when she was hit” He said. I looked down. He pulled into the hospital car park and we got out, locking the car. He lead me into the ICU ward and I saw everyone in the waiting room.

“AJ” Kev said standing up

“Where is she?” I asked

“Come out side with me” He said

“Where’s Rhianna” I said again

“Just come outside so we can talk and than you can see her” He said. I followed him out onto the tiny balcony over looking the hospital carpark and searched my pockets for the packet of cigarettes I knew I had. I found them and pulled one out, lighting it.

“We have 2 options. Well ultimately You have 2 options” He said

“Why me?” I asked

“You’re her husband” He said

“What are they?” I asked, taking a long drag.

“Option one is to keep her on life support until she wakes up. Option 2 is turn the life support off for 5 minutes and see if she breathes on her own” He said. I nodded and took another long drag.

“What would you do?” I finally asked

“I don’t know” He said

“Take her off the life support and see if she breathes. But I want to see her first” I said. He nodded and we went back inside. Nick sat quietly in the corner while the others talked about my decision, they shut up when I walked past them. Kev lead me into a room and I saw Rhianna, hooked up to all the machines, like she was last time. Memories of that night ran through my head and I realised, once again, how much of a fuckwit I was. I looked at Kev and he nodded, leaving the room quietly. I sat down on the chair beside the bed and held her hand.

“Rhia, baby. It’s me, Alex. I want to tell you something” I said after a while

“I’m gonna have them turn off your life support to see if you can breathe, ok baby? If you don’t breathe within 5 minutes I’ll make them turn it back on and we’ll try again another day. I want you to try your hardest ok sweetie?” I asked. And closed my eyes.

“I know I was an idiot for hurting you the way I did, but I’m past that now. I only want to be with you and I want us to try for another baby. But not until you’re ready” I said, getting more and more emotional as I spoke.

“And I’ll take you on a honeymoon, We can go to Australia and watch kangaroo’s and than go surfing in Hawaii and than I’ll take you skiing in Canada. God Rhia I love you so fucking much” I said, starting to cry. I stayed there for about 3 minutes and then I composed myself and went out to the others.

“Where’s the doctor?” I asked

“I’m here” Said a voice from behind me. I turned and saw an old lookin doctor.

“You’re with Rhianna correct?” He asked

“Yeah, I’m her husband” I said

“Has Kevin discussed the options?” He asked. I nodded.

“Let’s go in and talk than shall we?” He asked. I followed him back into Reese’s room and stopped when I was just inside the door.

“What have you decided?” He asked

“I want to see if she can breathe on her own. But I just have a question. I though that the brain couldn’t survive without air for 5 minutes, does that really happen?” I asked

“Yes it does but Rhianna isn’t at risk to that as after 3 minutes if there is no change and she doesn’t start breathing we usually turn the life support back on” He said. I nodded.

“Did you want anyone in here with you?” He asked

“I’d rather do it on my own” I said. He nodded and went over to the machine. I took the seat beside her bed again and held her hand.

“Are you ready?” He asked. I nodded. He flicked off the machine and i watched her chest intently.

“Come on Rhia, Come on, you can do it” I whispered over and over. I glanced at the doctor who was timing with his watch and saw that it’d been 2 minutes. We waited again. He sighed and was about to flick the machine back on when she took a rasping breath and than another and another. The doctor quickly put an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose and flicked it on. I looked at him and he smiled.

“There’s a very good chance that she’ll wake up within the next day or so now” He said

“Oh thank god” I whispered, looking up at the ceiling. He started checking her over so I took the opportunity to go out to my friends.

“She’s breathing on her own” I said. Nick, who had his head bent and his hands clasped looked up and saw tears in his eyes.

“I was praying for her” He blurted

“We all were” Brian said, standing up and hugging me.

3 hours later

I was woken with a start by a hand on my head. I lifted my head up and felt the hand slip away and land on my arm. When my eyes focused in the dark I saw Reese’s head turned in my direction.

“Alex” She whispered

“Rhia?” I asked groggily

“Hey” She whispered. Her voice was hoarse.

“Rhia, you’re awake. Baby I’m so glad to see you” I said picking up her hand and kissing it. I saw a hint of a smile through her oxygen mask.

“I’ll go and get a doctor” I said to her. She nodded and let me go. I stood and went out of her room and down the hall to the nurses station.

“Rhianna’s awake” I said to no one in particular. A Nurse looked up at me and said something to another nurse and than started in the direction of Reese’s room. I followed. She checked out all Reese’s stats and smiled at me before leaving. I sat back down next to her and she looked at me.

“Alex” She said

“I’m here baby” I said softly

“I love you” She whispered

“I love you too Rhia” I answered, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

3 days later

“Are you ready to go home?” I asked her as I put her stuff in the bag I’d brought for her

“I’ll be so glad to get out of this place” She smiled. I grinned. She had a few bruises on her body but other than that she was fine now and they were letting her go home. She slid off the bed and came over to me. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple.

“I’m sorry Alex” She said

“Don’t be sorry baby” I said and smiled at her.

“Let’s go” She said with a half smile. I nodded and slung the back over my shoulder. I took her hand and we walked out of the room and down to the nurse’s station where she signed the release forms. As we walked out of the hospital I noticed a whole heap of photographers and journalists.

“Don’t look at them” I said to her, taking her hand. She nodded and looked down. I lead her through them as they shouted questions and took pictures. One question was ‘Are you back together’ and I smiled as I though of the answer I would give them if this was a scheduled press conference. “We are going to work through things and see how it goes” is what I would say. I helped her into my car and we started driving, in silence.

“Alex” She said looking at me. I glanced over and smiled at her

“Yeah babe?” I answered

“I’m glad you’re better” She said. I gave her knee a rub and continued driving. I pulled into the driveway of our house and saw that everyone was here. I smiled and got out. I held her hand tightly as we walked inside. All the guys, Jenni, Leigh and Kris were there. Nick was looking uncomfortable in a recliner. Reese made a beeline to him and I sighed and sat beside Jenni who smiled at me.

“Sorry bout everything” She whispered

“Forget about it. I deserved it” I said, watching Reese kneel beside Nick’s seat. Neither of them spoke.

“Jay, don’t worry dude, they’re over. They’re gonna go back to best friends, I promise” She said. I nodded, but watched them anyway. Than Nick had his arms around her and they were hugging. I tensed. Jenni nudged me.

“Chill” She said. Everyone stayed for about 2 hours, Nick and Reese were mucking around like they used to.

“what do you want for dinner?” I asked her

“I’m not really hungry. I thought we could go and lie down for a while and talk, you know?” She asked. She sounded nervous

“That sounds like a good idea” I said. We went upstairs to our bedroom and I stripped down to my boxer shorts while she got changed into her pyjama’s I pulled the sheets and cover down and sat, waiting for her to get in. She sat beside me and pulled her legs up to her chest, watching me intently.

“What did you wanna talk about?” I asked leaning back against the head board

“Us” She said

“Ok” I said nodding.

“I love you Alex, I really do” She said

“But?” I asked

“But you hurt me” She said looking away.

“I know I hurt you. And I was an idiot. I was a complete fuckwit. But I was hurting too. I was hurting because we lost Donna Bella and I was hurting because I didn’t think that I was what you wanted anymore. You and Nick looked so much more happier than you and I and I was scared” I said

“You should’ve talked to me about it instead of running off and throwing yourself back into the bottom of the bottle” She said

“I know” I said

“I don’t know what to do anymore” She said with a sigh. Again she looked away.

“We could start again” I suggested

“It’s not that. I’m sick of being a play thing for the media, some of the headlines that I’ve read have been horrible” She said, this time she looked at me

“I know how you feel. It’s fucked up, severely but it comes with the deal, you make records that people like, you get thrown around the papers like a dog throwing around an old ball” I said, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. I felt her move and than felt her lay against me. I wrapped my arm around her and kissed her temple. She reached down and pulled the blankets up over us and snuggled against me. We were quiet for a while.

“What was it like? With Nick?” I blurted. I felt her shrug.

“It was different” She said

“better?” I asked

“No. With Nick it was more me venting my anger, with you it’s pure and unconditional love” She said. I smiled.

“What about with Maria?” She asked

“Maria is old” Was all I said. She chuckled a little.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you” She whispered

“I deserved it” I whispered back. We snuggled down under the blankets and I held her tight, scared she’d leave me.

“I love you” I said

“I love you too” She answered. I lay there with her in my arms, listening to her breathe and playing with her soft hair. She woke with a start and scared me half to death.

“Rhia?” I asked

“Alex, oh god Alex” She said starting to cry

“Baby what’s wrong?” I asked sitting us both up and holding on to her.

“I dreamt about the car accident, that you died and it was just me and Donna” She sobbed

“Rhianna, I will never ever leave you again. Never” I said pulling her against me and rubbing her back gently. Eventually she calmed down enough so we could lie down again, but she still sniffled every now and than.

“Sing me something?” She asked. I racked my brain, trying to think of a song that I could sing her. More Than That came to mind and I took a breath.

“I can see that you’ve been crying. You can’t hide it with a lie. What’s the use in you denying that what you have wrong. I heard him promise you forever. But forever’s come and gone. Baby he would say whatever it takes to keep you blind, to the truth between the lines. I will love you more than that. I won’t say the words than take them back. Don’t give loneliness a chance, baby listen to me when I say, I will love you more than that” I sang. She was asleep again. I sighed and closed my eyes, eventually drifting off myself. I woke when the phone started ringing. I rolled onto my back and felt around for it, finally finding it. I picked it up and pressed the talk button.

“What?” I growled

“Hello to you too, Mr” Came Leigh’s voice

“Leigh. It’s early” I said softly, so as not to wake Reese

“I know. Bri and I were planning an outing for us all and wanted to know if You and Reesey want to join us” She said

“Alex, what’s goin on?” Reese mumbled

“Nothin baby. Hang on Leigh I just gotta get up” I said and put the phone down. I stretched a little and slipped out of the bed, picking up the phone again and walking into the bathroom, closing the door.

“Where are you going?” I asked through a yawn.

“Not the kind that you’re thinking of” I said

“Aww no lovin for Ajiggity?” She asked

“We talked. Where are you going?” I said

“We were just gonna go for a drive out to this watering hole out of town. We found it on our way home from Nick’s one day” She said

“I’ll ask Rhia” I said and yawned again

“Ok” She said and chuckled again.

“Ima leave you in here, I’ll be back” I said. She laughed. I put the phone down and went back into the bedroom. Reese was laying on her back looking up at the ceiling, but when I opened the door she looked over at me.

“Who’s on the phone?” She asked

“Leigh. You wanna go for a drive with them?” I asked

“Where to?” She asked rolling over and looking up at me

“This place out of town. It’s a watering hole” I said

“I don’t mind. We can go if you want” She said

“It’ll be a nice day, just a catch up with our friends” I said

“Ok” She said smiled. I smiled back and kissed her head before going back into the bathroom.

“Ok, we’ll  come. When are we meeting and where?” I asked

“In about 2 hours at Howie’s. It’s closer to where we’re goin” She said

“Alright. See ya than” I said

“You need to pack some food and drink” She said

“Hmm ok, bye” I said

“Bye” She said and hung up. I hung up and went back out to see Reese standing in front of the mirror in her panties and tank top staring at herself intently as she turned to the side.

“Whatcha doin?” I asked chucking the phone on the bed and walking up behind her, wrapping my arms around her.

“I think I’ve put on weight” She said

“You look perfect to me” I said nuzzling her neck. She smiled and turned around, wrapping her arms around my neck and leaning up to kiss me.

“You know what I missed?” She said to me with a little smile

“What?” I answered

“I’ve missed making love to you and being with you and kissing you and hugging you” She said

“I didn’t think you’d want to make love to me” I said

“I wanted to so bad last night, but I told myself that it wouldn’t be right. Not until we had everything worked out and we’d talked” She said

“We’ve got 2 hours until we have to meet up with them all” I murmured

“Tempting, but we should just get ready to go” She said to me. I smiled and gave her another kiss before letting her go. She went into the bathroom and closed the door, so I went down to the kitchen and put on toast and coffee and started searching the cupboards and fridge for something to take for lunch. I grabbed some cheese and ham from the fridge and quickly made up a few sandwiches and wrapped them up, shoving them in a container I found in the cupboard. I made our toast and coffee and set them on the table. She came down stairs and smiled at me. It was a warm day today and she had on a pair of board shorts and a tank top over her swim top. Her hair was up in a messy pony tail thing.

“Thanks” She said taking a bite of her toats. I grinned and scoffed mine and downed my coffee before going up stairs. I pulled on a pair of board shorts and a tank top and went back down stairs. Reese was packing towels into a bag.

“I figured that if it was warm out there we could go swimming” She said to me

“That sounds good” I replied with a nod. She smiled and put her wallet and cell in the bag as well.

“We should get goin” I said to her

“Ok” She said and picked up the bag. I went into the kitchen and grabbed the sandwiches and a bottle of coke from the fridge. We went out to the car and got in. The ride was silent, except for the radio.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her

“Nothing” She replied turning to me

“Are you sure? We used to talk so much” I said

“I know. I’m just a little scared of cars now that’s all” She said. I reached over and held her hand.

“It’s ok, I won’t let anything hurt you anymore” I said to her. She nodded. I pulled into Howie’s street and parked the car behind Nicks Durango. We got out and walked hand in hand up to the door. Jenni answered it and instantly dragged Reese inside and away from me.

“Wedding plans” Jenni said to me over my shoulder. I shrugged and followed the sound of Nick laughing to the deck out the back.

“Hey dude, how was your night?” Kev asked me, point blank.

“Why is everyone asking that? Fuck we talked, we worked things out and we slept” I said dropping into the empty seat beside Howie

“That’s all you did?” Nick asked

“It wasn’t like we fucked until dawn. We just lay in bed and talked about everything, our feelings and stuff. We worked everything out” I said

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you” Howie said to me

“I’m gonna give her some space, wait until she’s ready again. I mean we can’t just jump straight back in the sack and pretend nothing happened” I said. The 4 girls came out the back, laughing their asses off

“What the heck are you 4 laughing about?” Brian asked. Reese, who had calmed down some what cracked up again and crouched down, falling onto her butt. Nick was chuckling and shaking his head.

“What’s up?” I asked

“We can be like little l-l-l-lovebirds” Leigh sang. My mouth dropped and I looked at my friends who had the same expression as me.

“How?” Kevin blurted

“Tis amazing what you can find on the internet darling” Kristin purred

“What the hell were you doing with your hair Alexander?” Reese asked from her position on the ground.

“I was 15!” I exclaimed in defence. She shook her head and started laughing all over again. After a while they went back inside.

“How the hell did people get hold of that clip?” I asked

“Who knows” Kev shrugged, shaking his head. We stayed there for about half an hour before we started on our way.

“Where’d you get the clip from?” I asked

“Jenni found it while she was online last night. You were adorable when you were younger” She grinned at me. I couldn’t help but smile. We were following Leigh and Brian and behind us were everyone else.

“It’s a rather catchy song. And those moves, mm Baby” She said. I laughed and shook my head. On the drive out we talked and mucked around and it was as if we hadn’t been separated. We turned onto a dirt road and slowed down , still following Bri and Leigh. After about 20 minutes or so we pulled up into a beautiful forrest type thing. When all the cars were off you could hear rushing water and birds.

“Wow” I heard Reese say when she got out. I looked around in awe.

“It’s beautiful” I said as Nick walked over

“Yeah, it is” He nodded. I noticed he was carrying a newspaper.

“Hey, Nick, can I see that?” I asked. He handed it to me and half smiled. I opened it up and leaned against the car. Reese came over and leaned against me, looking at it.

“Hey look” She said pointing to the bottom corner. There was a picture of us leaving the hospital yesterday with the headline: ‘Accident Rekindles Smoldering Fire of Love’.

THE END